“Our mission is to beat ourselves up so we can help others reach a higher place in the world.” Would you apply for a job to work for a company that had that mission statement? Would you work for a company that disliked what it did and talked negatively about itself? No!! You would run fast from that organization. Why don’t we apply the same philosophy to ourselves? We live in our body 24 hours a day. A strength-based, nurturing and more flexible outlook is what promotes greatness. If you find yourself in an internal dialogue of negative self-talk with a ratio of 5:1, take these steps to reverse the habit. A commitment of 6 months (out of your whole life) to change this old habit and build a new neurosynaptic pathway in your brain will do wonders in who and what you attract to your life.
1. FEELINGS - Stop running from you. Keeping yourself busy every minute of the day prevents you from getting to know yourself. Stop, reflect and connect to how you feel throughout the day. Feelings are fleeting like clouds. Being aware of a feeling/s in the moment, practice acknowledging them and then with time they will pass. This prevents reactionary behavior to self and others.
2. REFRAME – Take any problem statement and reframe it. Usually a reframe is a way to gain perspective of the problem from a different angle. “I am too old to find love” versus “My wisdom and life experience will attract someone who has those same qualities.” Reframing changes feelings and then changes thoughts.
3. SELF-NURTURING – When you start to do things for yourself that are nurturing and restorative then you send a message that you are worth investing in. The result over time could surprise you. Any business where they invest in employees produces so much more than when they are de-valued.
4. SELF-REFLECTION – Creating awareness about thoughts, feelings and behaviors is the first step to change. Meditation, life coaching, therapy, writing in a journal, a quiet walk all are a few opportunities to tap in to the very thing that sets us apart form reptiles and mammals. Engaging our brain’s executive ability to think about our thinking, think about our feelings and behaviors and best of all recognize patterns and making changes is what sets us apart from the other species.
5. THE MAGIC FIVE – Pick 4-5 small strategies daily to practice this new behavior you wish to achieve. Practice for 6 months. This practice builds new pathways in the brain. A new pathway means a new habit. It will not work with minimal effort over time. Practice does not make perfect, it makes permanent. The brain is elastic throughout our lives and any pattern can change with consistent practice.
Remember you attract whatever core belief you consistently say about yourself! Build a new habit of positive self-regard today.